Financial confessions: 'I saved to have a baby without a partner'👶

Financial confessions. Meet anon who after a messy break-up decided to have a baby without a partner

Alice Tapper

Let's start from the beginning, why did you decide to do this?

I had wanted kids for as long as I could remember. I wanted to do the marriage and kids thing but my life wasn’t working out that way. I was 38, about to turn 39 so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I researched clinics and their success rates and booked an appt to talk it through with a doctor for the very next week. I was going to make this happen, with or without a partner.

How much was it and how did you afford it?

The process isn’t cheap at all. It’s not just the IVF itself. It’s the fertility tests and the drugs that make it really expensive. I had saved a little money here and there as a rainy day fund. This was my rainy day and I couldn’t think of a better way to spend that money.

Total cost was approx £9k. Not a small amount but worth every penny for the outcome

Tell me about the process...

I made the appt with the doctor in March 2019. Started tests in May and was on my fertility journey from the Summer. Even though I was a good candidate for IUI (which is cheaper per round) I decided to go for IVF to increase my chances. More expensive but also more likely that it would work first time - and it did! I was one of the really lucky ones.

Tell me about your daughter

My daughter was born happy and healthy the day after my birthday and she’s the best gift I have ever received or dreamed of. She’s my total world and I can’t even begin to imagine my life without her. I struggle to remember what my life was like without her here as I feel like I’ve always known her. As I write this, she is currently asleep in my arms as she’s not feeling very well. Even on her worst days when she’s feeling sick, she’s the best!

How do you juggle working life?

Oh that’s a bloody nightmare but my work are brilliant! I got a year mat leave. Now I dip in and out Mon/Tues but I’m on email. Then my daughter is in nursery Wed-Fri. Childcare is BEYOND expensive. It’s a real juggle but I know it’ll only be for the first few years and then she’ll be at school which will make it a little less expensive. It really does take a village though and I get a lot of help from my Mum

Any advice for someone considering this?

The best tip I could give anyone… you’ll never be ready and you’ll never have enough money saved. It’s not about that. It’s about how much love you have and how ready you are to give it. Everyone’s journey and situation is different and I can’t speak for everyone. What I can say is this, for me, it was the best thing I have ever done and my daughter is the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I felt like I won the lottery when I met her.

Financial Confessions